♪♫Should auld acquaintaince be forgot and never brought to mind? We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne.♫♪

Obviously the song line is from Auld Lang Syne a traditional Scottish folk song that's attributed to Robert Burns from way back in 1799.  It's New Year's Eve day, thus the reason for that choice. Thanks Robert Burns and thanks to whomever first decided.. "hey let's make this the theme song for the new year."

This year has been full of ups and downs professionally. Let's review:

-Finished my internship - Up
-Turned down a job offer in Rochester because the pay was unacceptable for a MT salary - Down/up
-Got an actual MT job on a dementia unit fairly close to home - Up
-Passed by Board Certification exam officially adding MT-BC to my credentials - Up
-Did not have ability to take dance classes due to new work schedule - Down
-Realized I am actually darn good at my job and I really love doing it - Up
-Bought a brand new, really nice, beautiful Larrivee Guitar - UP

Obviously there have been others, but these are the significant ones. It's nice to look back and see more memorable ups than downs. Here's to another year.

♪♫You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile.♫♪

The title for this entry is from lyrics written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons, known through a melody/song by Charlie Chaplin.

Why the smile? Well, I realize I actually have quite a bit to smile about. I have a good job in the field for which I attended college, I have a pretty nice apartment, two adorable little kittens (who are nuts but I love them anyway). Most importantly though is probably because I PASSED my CBMT exam and am now officially a CERTIFIED Music Therapist. But really, none of those are the reasons I'm smiling on this particular day, at this particular time. I'm branching out from talking about Music Therapy to share a different field with you today, as well as some thought processed brought on my experiencing it.

I was at a MAPA (Metropolitan Activity Professionals Association) Conference today. The second session of which was an in-service about Laughter Yoga. No, Really... Laughter Yoga. Basically there's scientific studies that have shown that the brain/body cannot really differentiate between a fake laugh and a real one. If you laugh long enough you experience the same effects regardless of weather you are really happy. Couple that with the fact that laughter is contagious and some people's fake laughs are really entertaining... add in a few silly or quirky exercises, and some yogic breathing and you've more or less got the start of Laughter Yoga. So, as I am with most new experiences I went into this second conference session pretty skeptical. Um... Laughter Yoga... yeah sure, you nutcase! (The irony about the fact that most people have this reaction to the term "music therapist" is not lost on me here, okay). Going in I had no real idea what to expect other than that I was probably going to have to at some point or another make a complete fool of myself, because that tends to happen at any kind of audience participatory session in a conference like this. Honestly that was pretty much the best 45 minutes ever. If you have not experienced Laughter Yoga, after today I will totally advocate that you should attempt to go to one of the free classes in the area. It starts with relaxation, and ends with relaxation. We had a five minute period of time towards the end where after we'd done all these "Laughter exercises" we sat in a circle and just laughed... uninhibited laughter with a group of people just sitting and making eye contact with each other. We ended with progressive muscle relaxation. Honestly right now I am both incredibly relaxed and so energized I feel like I could run a marathon (I should mention that I don't run... ever). If this is the result of Laughter Yoga... sign me up!

Naturally attending something like this had me thinking. There's a research statistic that states that Children laugh an average of 200-400 times per day. We've all seen kids break into giggles for no reason, just start laughing hysterically out of the blue. When did you last see an adult do that? In contrast Adults only laugh about 4 times a typical day... 15 at maximum. At what age do we lose the ability to have a great laugh for no reason? As adults we seem to stop giving ourselves permission to be happy, and to just laugh. All the stress, and crap we go through or have gone through just weighs us down and we'd rather scream or rant or cry or drink. We develop ways to alleviate stress that end up becoming new obligations... gotta get to the gym, find time to walk, try and afford that yoga class/pilates class/bowling league, whatever, which then add to stress because they cost money and use time we don't have. We no longer give ourselves permission to just laugh. We make excuses for it though... I don't have time to sit back and laugh with friends... my problems are too big to just ignore... I'm too depressed to laugh. WELL, all the more reason to do it! If depression is caused by an imbalance in dopamine and serotonin in the brain, and laughter is the quickest or most natural way to release dopamine and serotonin into the brain, then wouldn't it be more beneficial to laugh than sulk? Laughing for 15 minutes causes energizing effects and releases those chemicals. Laughing offers the ability to release stress, and release pent up emotions, it boosts your immune system. Sounds like pretty cheap therapy to me.

I have often looked at myself and wondered when I became this person; when I became this serious, skeptical adult. In general at some point I had to have been that child who laughed 200-400 times a day, right? Why then is it so hard to find something to be happy about? It's so easy to find things that are wrong, so shouldn't we then make an attempt to find simplicity in noticing the things that are right? Today my kittens greeted me by the door when I came home, rubbed on my legs and purred. Then, Mia proceeded to bite my foot. So I guess I could CHOOSE to either sulk the rest of the night because she bit me, or to pick her up and pet her and feel loved because she met me at the door and purred. Which really matters more at the end of the day: the one moment she bit me, or the many times she tried to cuddle with me? You can CHOOSE what you focus on, and you can CHOOSE your attitude and your approach to each situation. You can't choose your emotions but you can CHOOSE how you respond to your emotions. A smile or a laugh doesn't make the problems go away, but maybe it can give you a different perspective at least for a few moments in a sea of stress and troubles. I'm not saying people don't have a right to be sad I just hope we also remember that we have the right to be happy, and we all have all the tools we need to do so.

♪ Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by, If you smile though your fear and sorrow; Smile and maybe tomorrow You'll see the sun come shining through for you. Light up your face with gladness. Hide every trace of sadness. Although a tear may be ever so near that's the time you must keep on trying. Smile, what's the use in crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile. ♪

"We can resolve to start all over make a new beginning..."

As a title for each blog post I will try and find lyrics that are applicable to whatever I'm choosing to share. The above lyric came from a Tracy Chapman song called "New Beginning." Music is such a huge piece of my life and career that I feel it's only fitting it play an important role in my blog about my life and career.

I've never had a "blog" before per-se. I've had personal online journals, and I have Tumblr account where I repost interesting research. My goal for this blog is to tell about my own growth as I perceive it happening. It occurred to me recently that I truly am a completely different person today than I was a year ago. There's the obvious: I have a great job with a steady, consistent paycheck; I live on my own; I do all the normal "adult" things: bills, groceries, pets, but besides the tangible things, I have more confidence. I'm more outgoing. I'm much happier. I no longer wonder if I can really do what I went to school for. I'm here, I'm doing it, and I am good at it. I'm comfortable complimenting myself. I can graciously accept compliments from others. I don't second guess myself as often, I don't tell myself I can't do things I haven't tried yet as much as I did before.

I can see in myself a maturity I didn't have before. I am more comfortable in my own skin. I'm learning to be proud of who I am, and to love myself. Every day I get to use the gifts I've been given to enrich the lives of my residents. I've held a hand and  hummed as a resident passed from our world to the next. I've seen a person who can't remember their husband or their daughter, sing along with every word of songs they've learned throughout their lives. Every day is different. What works today, may not work tomorrow, which means each day is an adventure and an opportunity to challenge myself and work to grow. I'm hoping I remain ready to face that challenge.

At the end of one's education in Music Therapy, after graduation, after the internship, we take a test. It's similar to the nursing boards, or the Praxis for educators. It's the CBMT exam (Certification Board for Music Therapists). Passing this test gives us credentials... MT-BC (Music Therapist-Board Certified). It's important. It's expensive. It's something I've been putting off since I completed my internship in April.
My moment of challenge to myself, and my opportunity for growth this week was to call and schedule my CBMT exam. So next Thursday I will either have that MT-BC, or I won't. I'm nervous, but also confident in my ability to do well and pass. I know that I know the information. I know I'm a capable therapist. But still... it's an expensive multiple choice test where every answer is right... but one is more right than the others. I finally just decided... If I don't schedule it now, I never will, and I want the credentials. I want the certificate. I want all my hard work to be legitimate and posted right there on my business card next to my name. The score doesn't matter as long as I pass. My internship supervisor likes to say, "What do you call a MT who passes their boards by one point?   -Board Certified." I don't have to do perfectly I just have to pass. Here's hoping it goes well, and next week I can officially call myself board-certified.