Social Media and Advice: Do you have all the information to make a recommendation?

This is something I've been mulling over recently, and I finally have written some thoughts on it. But it is late and I haven't gone back to proofread, so I apologize for repetition or grammatical errors. Just would like to post before I lose my train of thought. 

I belong to several social media sites, and within those social media sites I belong to several groups that are professional groups for Music Therapists to pick each other’s brains and throw ideas around. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of postings that are very short and very open. “I need song ideas for people with dementia.” “I am leading a group with clients ages 30-75. What songs should I use?” I think we as professionals need to pause before automatically responding “Here are a list of my favorites that I think would work for you: list of songs." We are Music Therapists. We aren’t Radios. Stop for a minute. If you were planning your own session, would you pick your songs first? Would you pick any songs without first considering your population, not just age but intellectual abilities? Would you just pick songs that have proven beneficial for other people you’ve worked with before you consider what your goals are for the clients with whom you'll currently be working? Most reputable Music Therapists would hopefully have answered no to those questions. When I plan a session I start by looking at who my client is. So in above scenarios “I need song ideas for people with dementia” all I know is that these are people with dementia. How many people with dementia? Is this a long-term care setting or a community MT group? Will there be care givers or family there or normative geriatric population mixed in with the individuals with dementia? What type of dementia? In what stage of dementia are the clients in your group? How old are these people with dementia? Do they have military experience? If you have a group of 4 individuals in a community setting who are in early stages of dementia and also have early onset dementia they may be in their 50s and still relatively in control of their mental faculties. If you have a group of 15 long-term care residents at varying degrees of mid-late stage dementia of the alzheimer’s type who are all over the age of 80, then my recommendations are going to be very different than they would be for the four 50 year olds. That’s only looking at basic client information. Then taking it a step further than that… What is the purpose of your group? My guess is that as a Music Therapist you don’t just intend to play music at them, at least I hope not. So is this group of people with dementia focusing on maintaining or improving attention? Are you trying to use music to facilitate range of motion exercises and if so what exercises would you like to use? Are your clients fairly low functioning and are you doing sensory interventions and gauging appropriate response? Are you trying to facilitate memory recall? Are you trying to do lyric substitution/songwriting? Do you want to do lyric analysis? Do you want to improve mood? Reduce Behaviors? These are all things that should be taken into account before we decide what songs we should use. Why are these clients receiving music therapy? Is this a new group you've never done before and most of the clients are non-verbal and you are planning to present a bunch of different songs or genres in the hopes of analyzing responses to find a starting point because you have no information on their past preferences? Because then a list of songs to start with might be exactly what you need, but if I don't know that, can I really make adequate recommendations?

Every time I see a posting that says, “Help me, I need song suggestions for a group ages __-__?” Or “I need song ideas for a group with this diagnosis.” My first reaction is to ask, what do you hope to do with them? What purpose is the music going to fill? As Music Therapists we need to remember to focus on the goals first. The music is our medium in which to facilitate improvement, change, or healing. I don’t know your clients. I don’t know the purpose of your group. I can tell you that my clients with dementia really like the song “In the Garden” when I use it in sessions. But is that going to be helpful if you are working with clients with dementia who are buddhist and facilitating range of motion exercises? Probably not. Music is very important, and the choices do matter. But in most cases I’d be willing to bet you don’t pick your songs and then decide what your goals are going to be just so you can use that song. Granted there are moments when I hear a song, and immediately think, “This would be great for lyric substitution” or “This would be great for lyric analysis to improve self image and focus on positive attributes in the face off loss of abilities” and those moments the song definitely gives me the idea for the group. But in general I plan my interventions and find songs that will best facilitate the goals I set based on assessment of the client. I'd be willing to bet that's true for many of you as well.

I want to close by saying every client is going to be different. If you tell me you have a 90 year old client with mid-late stage dementia of the alzheimer’s type and you are working on memory recall, I could suggest You Are My Sunshine, or Sentimental Journey. But I have a 90 year old client with dementia whose favorite songs are by the Beatles. Now her generation, favorite songs of formative years should be the late 1930s, early 1940s. Beatles are 1960s. Her kids loved the Beatles and she had many good memories dancing and singing with her kids to their favorite music in their formative years. The Beatles make her happy. She knows Sentimental Journey, but she’d much rather hear Blackbird or Hey Jude. I had an 80 year old man who liked the Dixie Chicks. They are from the 90s and 2000s. His granddaughter bought him a CD of them because she really liked it and wanted to share it with him, and those were his favorite songs because they meant so much to his granddaughter. 

I just hope that we as music therapists aren’t too quick to jump in with our go-to song choices without asking some questions first. To give an educated response, you first have to have all the information about the question. So next time you see a “I need song suggestions for whatever group” posting, I hope you stop a minute and then remember to ask, “What are your goals, or what is the purpose of their time in Music Therapy?” Make every song count, know it’s purpose first.

Music Therapy Internship Interviews: Tips for Success

I’ve had the privilege of sitting in and assisting with several internship interviews, in person and via skype, for the internship at my current place of employment. Here are some insights/opinions/thoughts/words of wisdom regarding internship interviews.

1. We have a musical portion to the interview, so if you are going to answer the question “What are your strengths?” with, “well, I’m really good at accompanying myself on the guitar and transposing songs into keys that work well for my voice range. I have gained a lot of confidence in my musical abilities.”  Then when you get to the musical portion, you should be able to demonstrate that confidence, and the ability to sing while playing the guitar at a consistent tempo and rhythm, and it should be in a key that works with your voice. When you claim to be strong at those things, and then your musical audition shows us the opposite of what you just said, it makes it seem like you can’t accurately describe your strengths and weaknesses, or that you aren’t able to self-assess, or it makes us wonder what else you are lying about to pad your resume.

2. Really listen to the questions asked, and then make sure you answer them. If you don’t understand a question, don’t guess, ask for clarification. If you still don’t know, it’s okay to say you don’t have a knowledge base for that question but you’d definitely be interested in looking into it more. Ex. We ask about the applicant’s knowledge of NMT, usually using the abbreviation.  In one instance an applicant proceeded to describe how she really loves the concepts of Nordoff Robbins Music Therapy techniques and looks forward to learning about it and working it into sessions. That is awesome, except we don’t do much Nordoff Robbins work in our facility and Nordoff Robbins is completely from NMT which stands for Neurologic Music Therapy. If the interviewer uses an acronym and you aren't positive you know what it stands for, it's better to ask.

3. We understand you get nervous. We get nervous for you. It is nerve-wracking, even scary to have to perform in front of strangers who might hold the key to your future in the profession. It’s okay to be nervous; it’s okay to acknowledge that you get nervous. It’s important to know how to deal with the nerves. When you are playing focus on tempo, going faster is natural when you are nervous, make sure you are maintaining the integrity of the song and not letting your nerves drive your tempo too fast.  If you start singing and realize it’s too fast, don’t stop and start over, just slow yourself down, which brings us to the next point:

4. Keep Going!!  In a session, if you mess up a chord or get lost in the music, you are probably not going to stop playing, apologize and start over. You will have to keep going because your clients are going to keep going with or without you. We expect some hiccups in chord progressions or notes, it’s natural when you’re nervous. Keep going when they happen. We did an interview recently, and the gal hit a really sour chord on the piano, then she hit a second one. She kept singing, stopped playing the piano for a measure and came back in when she could pick the progression back up. She gets bonus points for this. You might be thinking “But she stopped playing.” Yes, but she kept the song going with her voice and found her way back. This demonstrates and ability to keep going even if you make a mistake. The song progressed even without the piano, her voice carried it through. This is much better than someone who misses a chord, stops singing, finds the right chord, restarts the song, and continues to stop and start or pause while trying to find the right chords. Keep going. We know you missed the chord, we know you know you missed it, what matters is how you deal with this situation when it happens. Missing a chord change isn’t the end of the world, how you react shows significantly more about you and your clinical skills than whether you hit all the right notes.

5. Memorize your songs or have the music for reference, but make sure you are looking up and engaging the interviewers in the music. You are after all looking for a music therapy internship. In MT we engage with the clients, it's vital to the job. If you are buried in the music then you aren’t engaged with the clients. When we are making you sightread something unfamiliar, go ahead and be buried in the music if you have to be, but in the selections you choose yourself you should know them well enough that you can look up and engage.  Pick songs appropriate to the population you are applying to work with. Please don’t play “you are my sunshine.” We've all heard it a million times. We know you can play You Are My Sunshine... MT 101.  Play your songs in different keys. If your first guitar selection is in D, play the next one in C or G or anything else. If you play every song in the same key it doesn’t show a very good musical range. 

6. Be honest. If while interviewing for the internship or touring or talking with the staff you start to realize that you don’t think it will be a good fit, It’s okay to say, “Thank you for your time, but I don’t think this is going to be the best fit for me.” It shows a good level of responsibility and self-assessment to realize it is wrong, and accept it. Don’t accept an internship you think is not a great fit, or won’t be comfortable for you, just because it’s offered to you. If you aren’t happy with the site, then you won’t do your best work, and it is hard on you, and hard on everyone who has to try and teach you.

7. Have some questions to ask. Find something you are curious about. Ask about group dynamics with the clients, ask about group dynamics with other staff, ask what the typical schedule looks like, ask about how much time will be spent in groups versus doing reading or written assignments or documentation, ask about groups you are interested in, ask what the person interviewing you likes most about the program or the facility, ask which group they think is the most challenging for interns to pick up. Ask questions, it shows you are really interested and actually listening to what we’re saying. 

8. Try and relax and be yourself and let your personality come through. Remember why you chose Music Therapy as a profession. Know the answer to “Why do you want to do an internship in this setting?” or “Why are you passionate about working with (older adults, dementia, children with autism, inpatient psych, hospice, or any other population the internship requires you to work with)?  If we ask you why you want to work in our setting or with our population and you don't know it looks rather suspicious. Did you just apply to every local internship because you have to do one? If you aren't passionate about our populations, that's okay, but then maybe our internship isn't the best choice for you. I was applying to an internship when I was in school and I got to the question on the application that said, "Why are you passionate about working with young children?" and I realized I wasn't passionate about working with young children. When the internship supervisor emailed me to find out if I was still going to turn in an application I was honest with her. I explained when I got to that question I realized their site wasn't going to be the best fit for me and where I hoped to go professionally. She thanked me for not applying since it wasn't what I was really passionate about.

9. Send a Thank You note. After you finish your interview, send the internship director a thank you note. (this goes for job interviews, too) If you prefer to send an email that’s okay, and more efficient, but an actual Thank you note is better. Regardless of whether you are offered the position, it gives one last positive impression of yourself. Thank them for their time. Make it personal to the site you are interviewing with, don’t write a generic note that could be going to anyone or anyplace. Try and put in a few details that came up in the interview about things you’d look forward to working on/with if you were offered the position. It’s okay if it’s short and sweet. “Thank you for taking the time to interview me for the internship position at __________. It was really exciting to hear about the work you are doing with Jug Band, and with community outreach MT groups. I have a strong interest in NMT and would love to gain more experience with this area.  I really enjoyed hearing about your program and the internship requirements. I appreciate the opportunity to come in for an interview and feel like your program would be a good fit for me. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, _______. 

10. Have fun. Be excited. This is an exciting time. This is the final step towards being a professional Music Therapist. This is a time to network and get to know some people in the field. Show that you are excited about Music Therapy. Pick songs you like that are also appropriate to the population. We want to see that you are passionate and enthusiastic about what you'll be doing.

11. Don’t overanalyze what happened once the interview is over. Know that you are doing the best you can at this moment and if it’s meant to be then you will get an offer. Just because you don’t get an offer from one site doesn’t mean we don’t believe you will make an excellent Music Therapist. It also doesn't mean you are never going to find an internship. Maybe we just didn’t feel like you fit into the group dynamic of our staff. Maybe you need a little more work on guitar. Maybe you mentioned how you really enjoy working with a different population and we agreed that you would be better off doing an internship with that other population you are really passionate about. Maybe we had 20 applicants for Fall, and we had to tell 19 really qualified MT students that they didn’t get it. It’s hard for us to turn you down, just like it’s hard for you to be turned down. Believe me, we hate making the rejection calls as much as you hate getting them. It's hard to disappoint really qualified applicants. Unfortunately we only have so many spaces to fill. 

Best of luck to all of you who are in the middle of applying for internships. If you have specific questions about interviewing feel free to ask. Be your passionate, enthusiastic selves, and you’ll find the right place for you. Welcome to the profession.

Presenting Yourself Professionally in Internship Inquiry E-mails

I have seen some rather unfortunate first impressions from students networking at conferences or inquiring about internships. I've written a few posts sharing some insights and opinions for MT students or recent grads looking into internships on how to present themselves in a professional manner, and how to make a good impression. This is another one of those entries.

If you are a MT student looking into internships, the way in which you first present yourself creates a lasting impression on the supervisors and other staff you are contacting. Last week my coworker, the MT internship director at the facility in which I work, received an email. The subject line said, “I would like to apply for the internship at your facility” the body of the email said, “thanks, Name.” That’s it. The entire email was “thanks,” and the person’s first name only. Then she got a second email with the subject line, “my name is NAME and I’m a student at SCHOOL, and I’d like to know more about the internship at your facility.” The body of the email just said the student’s name again. So our MT director emailed back and asked what starting date he was hoping to apply for and listed the starting months we typically offer. The response she got was subject: “I’d like to apply, any date is fine” with the body of the email stating, I'm hoping for spring, summer, fall, or 2015. Then 2 minutes later a second email with the same subject as before with the body reading, “wait is it even possible to start in February of this year?” Then 3 minutes later another email with subject line "nevermind" and body of the email stating, "Nevermind that last one, I'm interested in Summer, Fall or 2015." That's it. We have yet to actually have him sign his full name to any of his emails.

 Professionalism and presenting yourself well starts with the first contact you make with a prospective employer, supervisor, colleague, etc. The subject of a professional email should be succinct and state the subject. In this case a good choice of subject would have been “Internship inquiry” or something related. The body of the email then contains information. Please write in complete sentences. Use a professional greeting, then state a little about yourself and your reason for contacting the person you are contacting. Then give your contact information so we can easily respond to you or send you the information you are requesting. Use a formal closing as you would in a written letter. One basic example email: “Dear Ms. Last name of director, My name is Jane and I’m a student at Name of College. I’m interested in completing an internship with POPULATION and would like to know more about your facility and internship requirements. I’m hoping for a start date either Spring or Summer of 2014. Could you please send me an application packet? Here is my contact information: jdoe@college.edu, 555-555-5555, 1234 College St, #15  City, State, Zipcode. Thank you. Sincerely, Jane Doe.”

Sadly the gentleman who sent us the first 5 emails with long subjects and no body to the email and no formality has caused himself to appear very immature. He has made us question his ability to be professional. He has made us question his ability to clearly communicate since he sent so many short emails in a few minutes of time, which came across as stream of consciousness rather than thought out communication. Having never met this gentleman, he has already set himself up negatively in the minds of the professionals in our office who interview and select interns. At this point, even if he has an amazing application the chances of him being accepted as an intern in our facility are almost non-existent because his initial impression has been so unprofessional.

Internships are very competitive. You want to put your best foot forward from the very beginning. Don’t forget that an email is still a professional means of communication and the way you word and format your emails can and will reflect positively or negatively on you as a person and as a future employee. Take the time to clearly communicate your intentions and interest. Be sincere. Be respectful. Be professional. Finally, PLEASE PROOFREAD. Look back at what you wrote before you hit the send button. For that matter almost everything typed has spellcheck these days, so use it. Make sure you used proper english - punctuation, capitalization, full sentences, spelling. Don’t let a poorly constructed email be the reason you are passed over for a job you really want.

One more example, because we are human and sometimes we rush things and make mistakes. We once got an email inquiry that was very well thought out, except the young woman wrote that she was interested in the internship at SITE and the site she listed was a different facility than ours. We got a response less than five minutes later that said, “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I sent that without reading it first. My apologies. I am interested in the internship at your facility, FACILITY NAME. I didn’t take the time to proofread until after I hit send. I apologize for my mistake. — This was actually okay. It acknowledged the mistake she made, it showed she was accepting responsibility for said mistake. It also showed that she did pay attention to what she sent; she noticed she made a mistake and she made immediate actions to correct that mistake. Problem solving skills at work.

In conclusion, when inquiring about emails don’t put the entire message in the subject line. Construct the email in the same way you would format a professional cover letter. If you don’t know how to do that, google it, there are templates for professional communication letters. Use a concise but clear subject line. Use proper greetings and formal closing. Think about what you want to say, and put it in the body of the email. Read through it before you hit send. Be professional in your initial communication with prospective internship sites. That first inquiry is what is giving us our first impression of you. Make it a good one. Present yourself positively.

Professionalism and Initial Presentation of Self

This is a first post in what I assume will turn into an ongoing series of opinions and insights for MT students, or recent grads working on networking, applying to internships, looking for jobs, etc.  This particular post is about professionalism with presenting information about yourself in a networking situation. It stems from an experience of some friends and coworkers at a recent MT conference. If you want to be taken seriously when passing out a “business card” there are right and wrong ways to do it. It is wonderful if you are creative and want to design your own personal information cards to present to internship directors and future colleagues and cohorts, however no matter how cute your construction paper hand made cards are, they will end up making you look somewhat immature. If you do choose to go that route make sure that you are cutting straight lines. If you REALLY want to draw/color your own business cards, you may want to start by going to Target/Walmart/Office Max/Staples etc and purchase the Avery (or generic equivalent) business card sheets. They are convenient in that they are perforated so you just pop them out and then you have straight edges and uniform sizes. While you are at it though, it also comes with a website and information on how to design your own cards using the computer/internet. If you have an ink jet printer, you can print out your business cards without the use of glitter or glue. The information will be legible as it will be typed, and they look like you could have possibly special ordered them or had them printed professionally. Believe me, I’ve printed my own networking business cards this way many times. You can scan in a designed logo or image, or you can select from their print-art options and backgrounds. The Business card sheets also tell you how to print them properly so everything is aligned well. There are also some lovely business card websites that will let you order professionally designed cards where the first 100 are free. 

How did this topic come to mind? A friend of mine was at a conference and spoke to a lovely young woman who is a music therapy student during the internship fair as my friend is the director of an internship program and the supervising MT in the facility at which we both work. The student then presented my friend with a personal information/business card (actually a good idea if you want the internship director to send you a packet if they don’t have any at the fair or if they have run out when you get there). The card however was homemade, It was an almost square (unevenly cut) piece of construction paper, with a printed out white colored printer paper with her typed information on it glued to the construction paper. It had a glitter design drawn on it as well, hearts to be exact. That is super adorable if you are in elementary or middle school and giving your phone number and address to your new best friend so that she can send you an invitation to her birthday party. However, this is a faux pas of professionalism. She made herself look immature, or not entirely serious about her future, and that is not the impression you want to make on a prospective internship director or professional contact. Her faux pas will now serve as an example to my friend’s current interns and practicum students of how NOT to present yourself when seeking a job or engaging in professional networking.  General rule of thumb in the adult world, always avoid glitter on a business card. No one likes everything in their wallet to come out covered in glitter because of your card. 

While on the topic of networking and professionalism, here's another example stemming from an interaction my friend had with a different prospective intern she met during the internship fair. My coworker gave this student our brochure for our program which included her email address as the director of the internship. When she arrived back to work on Tuesday she had received an email from this student she had talked to at the internship fair. It said something along the lines of, “Dear first name of internship director, My name is insert name of student. I met you at the internship fair. It was nice to meet you at conference. I really liked insert names of seminars or occurrences from conference. Did you have fun? What was your favorite part? I hope you had a safe drive home. I know it’s kind of a long drive. If you want to you should totally friend me on facebook.  -Name of student.”  
As in the previous example,  this student’s thought process was in the right place, just not presented in a professional way. It is excellent to follow up with new contacts particularly if you are interested in applying for a position with them in the future, such as in the case of a prospective intern. However, her general email was not appropriately professional. A more appropriate follow up might have said something along the lines of, Dear Ms/Mr/Dr. + Last Name of recipient, I enjoyed the opportunity to talk with you about the internship program offered at Name of facility/program. You answered many of the questions I had about the intern experience and what to expect from your program. Thank you for the application materials OR I would like to request application materials. (depending on whether you got application materials or just a brochure on the program.) I look forward to applying to your internship as I feel it could be a good fit for me and my future career goals. Regardless of whether I am given the opportunity to intern with you in the future, I would like to maintain contact with you for professional networking/I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. Thank you for your time.  Sincerely, Name of student.  (Okay, so that’s probably not a perfect example of a follow up email, but it's an improvement) In general, with a follow up, you probably don’t want to greet them by a first name this early in your professional relationship. You definitely don’t want to tell them to find you on facebook. Not a professional networking site (that being said there are professional groups/pages on facebook where MTs go to network, but for a future job, I’d probably steer clear of facebook.) Don’t ask personal questions if you don’t personally know the individual you are emailing. Always re-read your professional networking emails and make sure they actually read as professional. Have a friend or trusted MT professor read through it and tell you if it’s appropriate if you aren’t sure. You don’t want the reason you do not get offered an internship to be because you presented yourself as immature or unprofessional early on in the process. 

Remember these first impressions really do matter, and you don’t want to be remembered in a negative way because of a silly mistake with a business card or an awkward email. Prove that you understand professional and ethical boundaries and appropriate business etiquette. 

Finally, I'd like to share a potentially lesser known action that makes you stand out it a good way. After you go to an interview, Send a thank you card to the internship director immediately following. It shows that you appreciated the time they took to consider you and gives you a chance to give one more final positive and professional impression before they make their decision. Same goes for job interviews. My internship supervisor told me this, if they are undecided between two prospective interns and one sends a thank you card and the other doesn’t, then 99% of the time they are going to choose the one who sent the card because it shows how much they really do want it.  It's an easy enough way to make a lasting impression and get just a little bit ahead of your competition.

Welcome Back to the Present Technology

When I left my last job I was saddened to have to walk away from my work iPad. I had gotten used to the versatility it offered me in doing groups and 1:1 visits. between very simple instruments anyone can successfully play with minor motions of the fingers, to great background relaxation noises to play underneath my live playing of the Native American Flute, to easily pulling up videos or pictures from the internet to use in sensory groups and 1:1 visits, or pulling up fast chord charts or sheet music to fulfill requests. The iPad I had used belonged to the facility so naturally when I left the job I had to give it back. 

Tonight I have rejoined modern technology. I bought myself an iPad. I also go the keyboard portfolio case for it, which is what I am using right now to blog this. I'm getting used to the small keyboard and have installed some of the apps I remember having on my work iPad. I'm looking through different postings of the must-have iPad apps for Music Therapy. Garage Band was the first one I added. 

So, I pose the question to you, What iPad apps do you find most useful in your practice. I am particularly interested in what apps Music Therapists are using with older adults, dementia care, and hospice as those are the areas in which I work most closely. 

Meanwhile  I'm going to keep exploring my new tool/toy. 

♪♫I don't want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day♫♪

Title of the post is the song Bang the Drum sung by Todd Rundgren. One of those wonderful song gems of the 1980s that I remember my dad singing when I was little. Of course some of us are lucky enough to have a job where we really could bang on a drum all day, or at least part of the day. When I started my new job I was asked by the other active living (recreation) staff what my favorite groups to facilitate were, and one of them is Drum Circle. Now, I am not an extremely talented drummer. My drumming experience is typical of undergraduate methods courses. During my internship I was introduced to the world of hand drumming and leading drum circles as well as to basic drum kit because the MT led the rock band group from the drums. So, I have functional skills. Drum Circle wasn't something they had at my new job. So the other music therapist talked to me and together we decided to use my experience and our combined enthusiasm to get it going and see how it went. For some residents it is "too loud" and some staff run for the hills and office doors slam shut as soon as they see the drum cart. But for those who actively engage it's wonderful to see what transpires. For the facility newsletter I was asked to write a brief 250-350 word article about what Drum Circle is, how it got started, and what goals it targets. I thought it would be simple. However, it was actually quite complicated. You don't realize how short 350 words are until you try and describe a complex group like Drum Circle under that restriction. So, I feel that my article lacks the depth it could contain, but I touched on all the main points, and there's only so much you can do in that short a space. Feel free to comment.

What’s that Racket?!

Active Living is shaking up the Tuesday schedule with a new group: Drum Circle. I have experience facilitating drum circles in the past so when I began working here C, our other Music Therapist, approached me with the idea to add Drum Circle to the calendar. One of the first questions we had to address from residents was, “What is drum circle?” C and I joke about the overly simplistic answer I gave, “Well, we sit in a circle and play drums.” On the surface it is very noisy and a little chaotic, but there is much more happening than what is immediately visible. The goal areas and benefits of this group are numerous. There is always a lead drum that sets a stable rhythm to which everyone else adds.  Participants are required to listen to each other and respond appropriately i.e. if the lead gets quiet everyone has to listen and adapt their playing to match. In this respect, Drum Circle creates an instant community, which can help to alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation. Though initially the drums can be intimidating, in this setting we set the participants up for success. This in turn inspires feelings of accomplishment, and improves self-esteem. There are a variety of types of drums and simple percussion instruments to choose from.  C and I are able to choose instruments that are physically appropriate for each individual’s abilities but also those that can enhance physical dexterity or address range of motion goals specific to the individual. Drumming is a great way to alleviate stress and provide a distraction from pain. There is research to suggest group drumming promotes the production of endorphins, which improve mood and work as natural painkillers. Personally I always feel an increase in my own energy level after Drum Circle, and witness the same reaction in other participants. So far the response has been positive. As one resident stated following this week’s circle, “I’m not sure I know what I’m doing, but it’s just so much fun! It makes me so happy!”

Updating and Cleaning House

I'm re-vamping my blog. I've decided to morph it from a personal blog into a personally professional one. I'm going to go back and delete non-MT related posts, and begin to use this forum as a way to post my personal experiences and thoughts directly related to being a Music Therapist. I would like to have someplace I can direct people when they ask me if I have a blog or a webpage about what I do, and this is the simplest way to do that right now. I like my blog title which is why I don't just start a completely new blog.

Hopefully good things to come in the future. Thanks for sticking with me.

-Michelle, MT-BC

♪♫Knowing it will be worth while, I will go the extra mile♫♪

Lyrics from the song The Extra Mile recorded by Laura Pausini.

In October of last year I wrote a post Around the Corner...  I didn't mention in the post, but one of the things I had been doing with that client before she passed was working on a Legacy project. When she started to decline, I just decided I wanted to have a record of her musical passion and her excellent quality of life when in the presence of Music Therapy; something her family could have after she was gone. So, without really knowing what I was doing, I grabbed an intern and the video camera and did some recording. The facility has a digital video camera, and I have a mac that came with video editing software, so I figured, how hard can it be to make a basic movie.  I wanted it to look like a finished copy, with scenes and titles and transitions. But, when I went to plug in the video camera, it was not compatible with the version of iMovie on my computer. Well, I was pretty intent on doing this project and making it look like a polished copy, so I looked into upgrading the program. Then I found out that to upgrade that one program I would in fact have to completely upgrade my operating system from 10.4 (I know, I hadn't ever done an upgrade. whoops) to at least 10.6 Snow Leopard version. (This is still two OS behind I believe Lion is the newest.) So, I special ordered an installation disc for the new OS. That came and I spent an afternoon upgrading my computer. Then I had to download the APP store onto my computer, and download the new versions of iMovie and iDVD.  I also bought CD labels from Target and made a nice CD label sticker. The resident died before I finished the video with all the set-backs I had. I was able to get in touch with her family and give them copies of the finished product (after a few more issues with burning the discs). The finished product was something of which I was very proud. The family was happy to receive it. The resident's daughter sent me a card saying the whole family was going to watch the video together on Thanksgiving. All in all the project cost me a decent chunk of my own money and MANY unpaid hours working on it, often at 3 or 4 in the morning. It was not something I had to do. It was not something the family asked for from me. I saw an opportunity and I went for it, and despite the extra personal cost and the time and the frustration and inconvenience, it was completely worth while.

I have another resident and he is a joy. He loves to sing his favorite songs and a smile spreads across his face and he makes the comment that the music "makes the old ticker go." When he sings, the other staff even stop to watch and listen because he is so animated and when he finishes a song and has done all the words, he smiles so much and is so proud of himself he sometimes is moved to tears of joy. It is beautiful to be a part of that. He had family visit from out of town last summer and I met them coincidentally on the elevator coming back to the floor from my dinner break one evening. I told them about his singing and they said they couldn't believe it. So, I grabbed my guitar and spend a half hour helping them connect with their uncle through his favorite songs. Then I explained the concept of a Legacy video project. They were very interested in having something like that to hold onto to remember him when he is eventually gone from this earth. I said I would make him my next project. Then I just had no extra time at work. I still intended to do it at some point but it wasn't a priority. He wasn't declining and he was singing as well as ever. But, then I got a new job. I knew I needed to do this Legacy video before I left my position. I had promised the family.

When I was working on memorial day I got the resident and the video camera and did some recordings of his favorite songs. Transferring them to the computer was easier now that my programs were the correct versions. I even figured out a few extra touches to make this finished product better than the first one. The whole thing took much less time now that I know what I'm doing. I finished the video and went to transfer it from iMovie to iDVD so I could burn it, and I got a warning message saying that my startup disk was almost full. FYI that is NOT a good thing. The start-up disk for the non-tech-savvy people is the hard drive apparently. Well, it still said it was processing the video and would be done transferring in 3 hours. 2 hours and 45 minutes later it gave an error message saying the video was too long and there was not enough space to transfer it. I went through my files, I deleted unnecessary ones, but that didn't really work. Then, I got a phone call at work. The resident's niece was visiting again from out of town. She was hoping to be able to visit during music time. That was on Tuesday. Well, that timing was just way too convenient. I was so close to being done with this video and could give it to her while she was in town and save myself cost of shipping it.  At this point, I decided I absolutely had to do this. I ordered myself an external hard drive and had it rush delivered so I'd get it by Thursday. (I got a pretty good deal, but still, external hard drives are expensive.) That would give me time to clear some space and transfer and burn the disc to give to her before the weekend. Except that UPS required a signature and delivered it while I was at work, so they didn't leave it. I talked with the family and they gave me their phone number and contact information for where they were staying and said to just let them know if I had a chance to get the video finished before they left. Friday I left a very strongly worded note for UPS on my door indicating the importance of them leaving the package even if I wasn't there to sign in person, and signed the note indicating I accept full liability if anything happens to the package. Luckily they left it for me. I finished the DVD and it turned out so nice. I added chapter markers and music during the menus and credits. I added some nice photos of him.

I called and left a message for his family saying I had a DVD for them. I made a special trip in to work today (Sunday) to meet his niece so I could give it to her. She wanted to watch it with me and her uncle. I put it on the widescreen TV in the dining room and a few other residents joined us. I was out with my mom when the family called and asked if I could bring it, so my mom was there, too. The resident was so excited to see himself on the television singing his favorite songs. He started singing along with the video. His niece sat next to him and sang with him. She was so touched, and they had such a beautiful connection with each other for the 20 minutes he sang with me on the television. She cried; so did he. My mom got to see one of the more awesome sides of my career. The last couple weeks have been tough at work. Staff are rude and making nasty comments to me or ignoring me completely since they found out I'm leaving. But, none of that mattered in those moments watching this family find common ground in something so simple. These Legacy videos that have had so much overhead costs and have taken so much personal time and inconvenience, just to give them away for free... they aren't a job requirement, they aren't even an expectation. They were simply something I got the idea to do one day, and decided if I was going to make something like that, then I was going to go the extra mile and make it the best product I could. I wasn't certain it would be worth it in the end; I didn't know what the reaction to them would be. Today, I got to experience the reaction first-hand. While everyone else was watching the television I was watching the beauty in front of me, a true connection between this resident and his niece. Something she knows she can always treasure with him each time she sees that video. I wish I could explain it better... the look on their faces... the honor of playing a part in that. I guess all I can say is that sometimes you have to be willing to go the extra mile because the final destination is so incredibly worth it.

♪♫Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end♫♪

The lyrics are Closing Time performed by Semisonic. Really aside from the line used for the title the song doesn't apply at all. But, it's the first song lyric that came to mind when I started writing this post.

Part 1: The Offer - I interviewed for a new job last Thursday. My interview was at 10:30am and went until about 11:30. They had two others interviewing immediately after me. We ended up having some really great conversation and the interview was actually fun which is awesome. The over-all energy and attitude was really supportive and encouraging. My "tour" of the building was cut very short... as in: here's a part of the building, and the other part is over there, and we have another interview so you'll hear from us sometime next week. They didn't even ask me to play the guitar or piano or anything... I guess they assume I can do that if I've been employed as a music therapist in an equivalent position for two years. After my interview I had to go to work and while I was doing a program I missed a phone call. The phone call came in at 2:15 and was the HR director at the facility I'd interviewed at. The message was super vague, "I just wanted to discuss the interview this morning. I'm only in the office until 3, and then I'm off until Tuesday."  Well, naturally I got the message at 3:30, and completely missed the opportunity to call her back. I finally talked to the HR person yesterday about 3:00 in the afternoon. She said she'd been calling to formally offer me the position.  That means I set a new record for myself by going from an interview to a job offer in just 3 hours. They didn't even contact my references. Apparently I made a really good impression and had exactly the qualifications they wanted and the experience to back it up. The details are still a little up in the air. They haven't finalized the dates for June orientation yet, so I would either start orientation June 11th/12th or the 18th/19th. Since either way that's coming up pretty quickly, I figured the most professional thing to do was to was to tell my direct supervisor/activity director that I would be leaving and I'd give her the official letter of resignation as soon as I knew the details.

Part 2: Resignation - So, I approached my supervisor at the end of the normal work day after most of the other RT staff had left or were in the process of leaving. I explained I had been offered a new position and was going to accept it, and that I wasn't sure whether my final day would be the 8th or the 14th, and it depended on my orientation schedule. I thanked her for the opportunity of working there for the past two years. I also said that I'd prefer to tell the other RT/MT staff myself, once I knew when my final day would be later this week. She basically didn't react at all... then said something along the lines of "Well, you'll be missed, but you have to do what is best for you." Then a bunch of things happened that seemed really unprofessional and I wasn't able to personally talk to anyway about it before it was announced to everyone by someone else. It made for a really awkward week, and some really mean-spirited comments from different staff members that were very hurtful.
If anything this has shown me it was time to move on. I'm making the right decision. At least if nothing else, I am moving onto a facility where I am at least respected and wanted as a member of the team. I'm nervous about making the transition and having to learn a whole new group of residents' names and backgrounds. I'm sad to be leaving some of my coworkers and many of my residents behind. But, overall I am still happy and I am hopeful this facility will be a better fit for me.

June 1st is my two year anniversary at my current position. When I started the job it was exactly what I wanted. Full-Time, Music Therapy focussed, dementia unit... but throughout the two years it has morphed into something completely different. It has become largely behavior focussed and feels more like geri-psych than dementia. There is no communication on the floor between different departments and different staff members, and there is a general lack of compassion, and as hard as I've tried... I can't care enough for everyone. So, this beginning comes to an end, and in mid June I commence on a new beginning. God willing it will prove to be a good decision.

♪♫It's a long enough life that we're living, why walk when you can fly?♫♪

The lyrics are from a song called Why Walk When You Can Fly which many people know from the Mary Chapin Carpenter Version... I however first heard it on a Tami Gunden recording, so that's how I hear it in my head.

"In this world there's a whole lot of trouble baby, In this world there's a whole lot of pain.
In this world there's a whole lot of trouble but a whole lot of ground to gain
Why take when you could be giving, Why watch as the world goes by?
It's a hard enough life to be living, Why Walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow, In this world there's a whole lot of shame
In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow and a whole lot of ground to gain.
When you spend your whole life wishing, wanting and wondering why
It's a long enough life to be living, Why walk when you can fly."

This blog is a little bit of a rant. I am a Music Therapist. I am not a babysitter. I am not a performer. I am not the "music lady" who "sings for them every night." I am a Music Therapist. I am not a nurse. I cannot toilet, dress, or bathe people. I cannot get them out of bed in many cases. Therefore I rely on others who are nurses and aides to do those things. I try and make my needs clear and ask for cooperation. I individually approach each NAR. I print off lists of those I need if it's a change in their typical up/sleeping schedule. I ask nicely. I give advanced notice. I communicate and they answer, and agree to help, and then it's like it never happened. Example: Sensory group. I have a group of five residents who I have been trying to do a sensory group with at least once a month (preferable more but I'm realistic in my expectations.) I printed off a list of the names of those I needed, the exact time I would need them up and ready to go, and the exact time the group would be done. I took the list to each nurse. I gave the list to the nurse manager. I gave the list to each NAR and specifically talked to them and thanked them in advance for their cooperation and assistance. They all nodded and agreed and said they'd leave the people up after dinner, or in the case of individuals with tube feeding, get them up in time for the group. Then when I went to gather the five people for my group, how many were actually up and ready to go?  Many of you might say - "sounds like you were thorough, I bet you got all five."  If that was your thought you aren't even close. Of the five I needed, I was able to actually gather ONE. I don't know what else I can do to communicate my point. This is a frequent occurrence. I've lately started to feel like I'm developing a defeatist attitude, 'why bother scheduling specialized groups, the residents I need won't get to them anyway.' I am walking instead of flying.

I have become quite jaded as a result of my current job setting. For quite some time now I have not felt as if I am working at my full potential. I have felt stifled by a lack of cooperation and support from other staff members. I have had nurses bring me someone who is acting up/yelling/biting/hitting/spitting when I am in the middle of a group with 15 actively participating residents, and put them right in the middle of my group. Already upset this is usually overstimulating for someone with aggressive behaviors r/t dementia. I go from a very successful group, to a group I have no control over, to the point where the group becomes about me attempting to keep people from hurting each other rather than being able to actually provide MT services. I will be doing a group, using the piano and leading and staff will come in the room and start talking to each other in the middle of my session over the top of me. Then when I ask them to take their conversation elsewhere they have actually replied with, "Oh were you playing for them?"  No I frequently do my practicing at this volume setting in a room full of people.

I recently learned of a job opening at a facility within the same company as the one I did my internship. The facility has a much higher reputation for quality than my current place. I didn't even hesitate after I heard about it before updating my resume and writing a cover letter. The job hadn't even officially posted yet, and I had already sent an inquiry to the head of the department. The hours are the same as my current position (not ideal but bearable still), it's still with dementia (which I really do love actually), but it's a little further away. I can deal with distance in exchange for job satisfaction.  I could stick it out in my current location and just wish it would get better. Wishing for more compassionate staff, a greater level of caring. I could continue dredging it out... meandering on my way, just waiting for things to change so I could be proud of the job I have. There are a lot of negatives in life. But I can't wish for change, I have to make it happen. I have to choose to take control, give myself permission to jump and hope I can fly. I have an interview on Thursday. If it goes well, I could be looking at a whole new perspective with the cooperation and support to really live up to my potential as a MT. I could be looking at the possibility of diving into a new position with all new staff and residents very soon.  I am simultaneously nervous/scared and hopeful all at once.

"In this world there's a whole lot of golden, in this world there's a whole lot of plain
In this world you've a soul for a compass and a heart for a pair of wings.
There's a star on the far horizon, rising bright in an azure sky
For the rest of the time that you're given, why walk when you can fly?"

This is me aiming for flight. I don't want to just walk... just get by. I want to fly, I want to be proud and satisfied with what I am doing and where I'm doing it. We only get this one life... why walk when you can fly?

I also have a tumblr site

No lyrics because I am posting from a new work assigned iPad and don't know how to get the music notes with it. Just a short entry to say I have a tumblr account, too. I typically post relevant research and links to really great MT bloggers that I enjoy reading. So if you are interested in following me there check it out: http://simplesongbird.tumblr.com

♪♫No more lives torn apart, and time would heal all hearts, and everyone would have a friend♫♪

A seasonally appropriate blog today. The song is My Grown Up Christmas List written by David Foster and Linda Thompson-Jenner. It has been recorded by several artists including Amy Grant and Kelly Clarkson. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I think it's an interesting concept and well put together. Here are the lyrics:

My Grown Up Christmas List
Do you remember me? I sat upon your knee;
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies.
Well, I'm all grown-up now,and still need help somehow.
I'm not a child, but my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish, my grown-up christmas list,
Not for myself, but for a world in need.

No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts,
And everyone would have a friend, and right would always win,
And love would never end.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

As children we believed the grandest sight to see
Was something lovely wrapped beneath our tree.
Well heaven surely knows that packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul.

No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts,
And everyone would have a friend, and right would always win,
And love would never end.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth.
There'd be

No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts,
And everyone would have a friend, and right would always win,
And love would never end.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

There are a few lines that always stand out to me: No more lives torn apart- I know many people who have had a rough year or a rough lifetime. That have had their lives completely torn to pieces. They persist but as much as we'd like it to time does not heal all the wounds of ailing souls. Everyone would have a friend - a real friend. That every person would have someone to confide in, to trust, and that the friendship was reciprocated. Not a "meantime" friendship or a friend of convenience but a real true friend.

I like to use this song to do songwriting this time of year using lyric substitution. It's really neat to hear what my residents put on their list. What's on your grown-up Christmas list?

To Men: Date a girl who reads...

I read this today and thought I'd share it. I didn't write it. There is no catchy song title to this post. Just simply what the author of this says... date a girl who reads.

A GIRL YOU SHOULD DATE

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

– Rosemarie Urquico –

♪♫I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal♫♪

The lyrics are from The Voice by Celtic Woman. The song was recommended to me by a friend. They suggested it and I listened to it and found the song incredibly beautiful.  Bear with me because I am going to share the lyrics in their entirety now.

The Voice - Celtic Woman

I hear your voice on the wind, And I hear you call out my name
"Listen, my child," you say to me. "I am the voice of your history. 
Be not afraid, come follow me. Answer my call, and I'll set you free."

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain. 
I am the voice of your hunger and pain.
I am the voice that always is calling you.
I am the voice, I will remain.

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone, 
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep throughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow.

I am the voice of the past that will always be
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields
I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace,
Bring me your peace, and my wounds  they will heal.

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain, 
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you, I am the voice.

I am the voice of the past that will always be, 
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future, I am the voice, I am the voice. 

I would strongly recommend looking it up on youtube or iTunes. The vocals are incredible and the song is enchanting.   Aside from really liking this song, the lines I chose as the subject line just struck a particular chord with me. I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace and my wounds they will heal.  They say time heals all wounds, or at least lessens their influence on our lives. Something I am constantly working towards... healing past wounds and looking to the future.

I wore my Cruella costume with full make-up to work on Monday for Halloween. It's always entertaining to dress up in costume when you work on a memory care floor. I got some very odd comments ranging from "You look really weird" to "That is a beautiful red coat, you should wear it more often" and "You look just lovely today dear." Trust me if saw the pictures you'd be laughing at the last two. It made for a very interesting and humorous day.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. The cold I've been fighting off for the last month hit full force today though. I woke up with really bad chest congestion, runny nose, and sore throat. Been battling it with drugs, Emergen-C, and organic throat teas. Hoping it doesn't last long, though many people I know who've gotten sick have complained that the symptoms persist for several weeks. I can't afford to be sick for several weeks, especially if my voice gets involved. So far though I have some soreness and I sound congested, my singing voice has not been impacted. The plan is to take it easy for the weekend and try to use my voice only when necessary this week. I'm in a concert next Sunday and I need to be able to sing for that.

I spent today doing massive updates to my computer. As I write this my computer is running much more efficiently now and Safari is actually working well for the first time in a long while. I upgraded my operating system from OS 10.4 to OS 10.6 Snow Leopard. Then I did software updates that took 2 hours to install. Then I upgrade my iMovie from v.6 to v.11 for the DVD project that I am working on for my resident who passed last week. I am still planning to upgrade Garage band and iPhoto so that I have the full iLife 11. So far I have had no problems with it and everything is running well. Hopefully it continues to do so. Looking forward to working on the DVD project now. I just need to figure out how to actually work iMovie 11. It's quite a bit different from iMovie 6.

To bring it full circle, I must once again recommend that everyone go listen to the song The Voice by Celtic Woman. Beautiful.

♪♫Around the Corner and Under the Tree♫♪

I wish I could give a definite credit to the song line above. But alas I cannot. The history of the song is fairly unknown. There are children's folk songs and a few adapted versions throughout history, but the origin is said to have been sometime around World War I. The specific version I'm quoting here is from a resident of mine. She has been, hands down, my favorite resident since I began my job just over a year ago. She was an ideal client for music therapy. After a session she once told me that she loved when we brought her music because it gave her life purpose and meaning. She would often sit and sing this little song to herself or to anyone who would listen, "Around the Corner, and under the tree. The Gallant Major made love to me. I said nay nay, I said No No, but ever since I've been there once I always want to go, Around the corner..." She also once told me that she liked music so much because it was her, "special friend that never left [her] lonely." She demonstrated this on a daily basis. Rarely was she silent, and every time she spoke she sang. Her song ended tonight. She left our world and finally was released home to God.  I'm sure she's already acclimated herself to the choirs of angels and is singing along in their celestial harmonies by now. Moments like this are the most difficult parts of my job. Very rarely do people leave alive... most of the time we escort them out in a generic black bag. People leave footprints on our hearts. This resident has left some very deep ones on mine. Over the past week as she began to decline there were many 1:1 sessions/visits with her since when she was most uncomfortable and agitated, music was the only thing that could calm her down and help her sleep. Tonight I came back from my dinner break just in time to experience her releasing her final breath. It's probably only fitting that she is the first resident to pass while I'm present in the room.  Knowing it's coming does not really make it easier. I grieve for her, and I know that her absence will be felt in my music groups the rest of this week and in the foreseeable future. I am sad, though I know she is happier now she is free of this world and her struggles within it. I grieve for the loss. But, my reality is my residents are not going to leave the building alive. We are their final stop before their eternity. When I am no longer affected by the loss of those I serve, then I no longer belong in the profession. It's sad to think that I won't hear her voice in the halls chirping out the words "Around the Corner..." She lived a good and long life and will forever hold a special place in my heart... around the corner and under a tree.

Since I last wrote many things have happened. I finally bought myself a more reliable vehicle, though I had to add another loan payment. It's not new, it's used, and the payment is minor. So far that has proved to be a good decision as I have put 4000 miles on the vehicle since I purchased it in September and it is still going strong. Many of that 4000 miles put on in under a month came from a little road trip. I used my scholarship award from AMTA to go to the NMT training institute in Fort Collins, CO from October 6 through the 9th. I'm now a certified Neurologic Music Therapist in addition to my MT-BC.  Least favorite part about the trip: driving through Nebraska. Nebraska is boring. Favorite part: realizing how much I was already doing and then having the tools to analyze whether or not what I'm doing is effective and really understanding why I do those things and why they work. It was an excellent experience and I met some great contacts. I would love to do the graduate program at Colorado State University should I ever go back to school. I love the scientific theory behind all of it. Someday, maybe.

Halloween is coming up and I'm in full costume planning mode. The nice thing about the setting I work in, is that costumes are encouraged. I love an excuse to dress up and I always go all out.  This year I'm going as Cruella DeVil. I even found an online tutorial on how to do my makeup to look like Cartoon Cruella's. Hopefully it turns out as awesome as I want it to.

I'm working on taking it easy this week, as I seem to be coming down with something. My throat has been getting sore in the mid afternoon to evenings the past two days. Part of it is probably linked to the emotion of the passing of my above resident. But, I'm not taking chances. Been taking Vitamin C and drinking my Emergen-C. Thank you to my few but loyal readers for taking the time to read about my resident and to honor her memory with me simply by being present in this forum. Good night everyone.

♪♫I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine...♫♪

Recognize the lyrics? It's Natasha Bedingfield's Pocket Full of Sunshine. Got a few reasons for those lyrics this week. First of all, I was watching the movie Easy A on showtime the other morning, and now honestly every time something happy has come up this darn song springs into my head. I have a love/hate relationship with the song. In the movie the lead female gets this card in the mail from her grandma and it is a music card that plays the song and the first time she opens it she closes it right away and says something about it being a terrible song. Then there's this weekend montage that shows her gradually being more obsessed with the card until she singing into her hairbrush and dancing around the room performing along with the musical card, and then the card dies because she's played it so much. I found this song really irritating the first time I heard it. But honestly, it's kind of genius. It is SO INCREDIBLY CATCHY.  Then, I actually took the time to look up the words because I could only ever remember the first two lines and then some of the "take me away" business. It's actually got a good message. The whole, you can't break me down, and wanting to be taken away to a happier existence. This is totally surface level, I'm not going to analyze any deeper meaning. I'm sure there is some, or odd symbolism, or who knows what... but based on surface level 'these are the words that are there' type analysis, actually not a bad theme. Did I mention it was catchy? Yeah, the writers struck gold on that refrain.

Okay, so good things that happened this week. Sunday I went to a friend of mine's new house and picked up 7 large boxes full of liturgical preparation, planning, resource materials and music books, octavos, copies, hymnals etc. Merry Christmas to me! Who wouldn't love 7 large boxes full of music materials to sort through?! Granted I am going through it with a mutual friend of ours and she will hopefully be taking much of it, since I really don't have use for a lot of the things in there. But there are definitely things I do want and can use as well.

I was sitting in my living room last night when at 9:30pm I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. My cell phone just listed the number as "Ohio." Well, I thought to myself, "who do I know in Ohio who would call me at 9:30pm on a weeknight?" and came up empty. I don't know anyone in Ohio. So, I assumed it was wrong number and sent it to voice-mail only to be pleasantly surprised a few minutes later to have my voice-mail tone go off alerting me to new message. You know who apparently lives in Ohio? The president of AMTA, that's who. So naturally I called her back immediately and apologized for screening my calls. She was calling to inform me that I had been selected to receive the scholarship I had applied for at the end of June. It's a $500 scholarship to be used towards continued MT education credits. I want to attend the neurologic music therapy training in October and the registration fee is $520. So I applied to the scholarship figuring that if I got it, that could pay my training registration and then I'd just have to figure out how to get to Colorado and pay for the hotel. I wasn't too confident in my submission since I didn't find out about the scholarship until two days before the applications were due, and I had to write a 2 page scholarly proposal about what I wanted it for and how it would impact my practice as a MT and how I would use what I learned to benefit my clients etc etc. Apparently, my 2 am writing of a 2 page scholarship proposal was pretty good. Some days I really do thank God for giving me the gift of writing well efficiently. Without this very much God-given talent I really don't think I would have made it through HS or College. Amen. So, I hung up the phone and what was the first freaking thing that popped into my head after "YES!"? It was, "I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine..." I wish I was kidding, I'm not. That seriously is the second thing I thought.

Well, anyway, there have also been some downs this week and it's been nice to have this song running through my head because during the down times I really do want to just sing out, "Take me away, to better days. Take me away, A hiding place."

I think that's probably enough blogging for now. So, until next time may we all be able to survive the moments when we feel like yelling out "Take me away" and may we be able to cherish the moments when we have "a pocket full of sunshine."

♪♫I get by with a little help from my friend(s)♫♪

Same song as the last entry, but that's because this is sort of a "part 2" to that email.

Tuesday at work I decided that a good method for choosing my song was to perform both for my residents and let them vote after we'd done our normal music therapy groups for the evening. For those who don't know me, I work on a dementia unit in a nursing home. My residents all have some form of dementia/memory loss. Well, anyway, I wasn't really expecting much, but I sang both songs and one woman had a very clear vote for Broken. Naturally once one person chimed in several others followed suit. A few even gave reasons they liked that one better. Several just said they liked anything I sang which is always nice to hear. So, I made the decision to sing Broken for the audition. Thursday was my audition. I'm grateful to one close friend who was able to come, and bless her heart she tried to make the noise of a crowd to boost my audience response score.

I think the audition went well. I'm never sure though. Now begins the waiting game. The judges will inform us on July 10th who makes the semi-finals on the 14th.

I also have an update to the Money makes the world go around post. I found out about these scholarships through the professional association I belong to (American Music Therapy Association - AMTA). They give out 3 annually, for use towards continued education credits, each in the amount of $500. Well, luckily I found out about them and the deadline hadn't passed yet for this year. Friday night I stayed up late and wrote a scholarship application narrative explaining what I needed the money for and the potential impact it's use would have on my clients etc. I had to put on my intellectual writing brain again for the first time in quite a while, but I was able to come up with a well written and professional sounding proposal for use of the money. If I get the scholarship I will be able to pay for the NMT training institute in October. Praying for that to work out. If not, I will still find a way. I am going to do that institute if I have to beg family and friends to help me finance it.

♪♫Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song...♫♪

♪♫and I'll try not to sing out of key.♫♪

The title today is obviously The Beatles, With a Little Help from My Friends. I'm feeling quite melancholy at the current moment. The first stanza of this song has been running through my head most of the evening. I have an audition on Thursday. I'm auditioning for a local singing competition that is fairly karaoke based, but it's for the town festival-of-sorts. You have to do a song using an instrumental track that may or may not include back up vocals. You have to have it memorized. You are judged on: Vocal skills(pitch, breath control, enunciation, tone, etc), Presentation (eye contact, expression, attire, microphone technique), Audience response (using a decibel meter to gauge the response level), and then Judges overall impression. They videotape the auditions and the judges watch the videos rather than judging in person. The auditions are held at a local bar on Karaoke night but you are required to bring your own track. A couple of weeks ago during some weird lapse in judgment I registered myself to compete. I hate karaoke and so this is not generally something I would do. Anyway, I've been going through the instrumental or back up tracks that I have for songs and I've narrowed my choices down to two songs. I would really like to actually sing them to some people and get opinions on which one I should do, as I really have no clue which one sounds better or is likely to get a better audience response. I have a feeling to get a good audience response I'd probably have to bring an audience. The problem is I don't have many friends in town, and don't think my out of town friends would care to drive down to sit in a bar for an hour and listen to good and bad karaoke auditions. I need to sing the two songs to people to see which is better, but I don't have anyone to try them on.

So I feel very stuck. I honestly don't know which song is better... and I don't have anyone to ask. My cats really aren't much help. I suppose I could bring both songs to my voice lesson on Wednesday, but that's not really the kind of singing I want to focus on in those lessons. I sing every day, you'd think I could make a decision on a song that fits best in my voice. But I'm my own worst critic.

The two songs are Broken in the style of Lindsey Haun, or Low in the style of Kelly Clarkson. They are two of my favorite songs. Broken feels like the verses sit lower in my range, but the refrain rings really nice. Low is comfortably in my range but doesn't have the same power in the message that Broken has.  I know it's more about which sounds better, but I honestly don't know, I can't tell when singing to myself. I need someone who can listen and give me ideas and constructive feedback. But tonight I don't seem to have that person. How does one get by with help from their friends, if they aren't able to get ahold of anyone? Maybe I'll take them to work and have a mock audition with my residents and they can help me choose a song. How do I make that a therapeutic intervention...

♪♫Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key.♫♪

♪♫Money Makes the World Go Around♫♪

♪♫A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound, is all that makes the world go around♫♪ -Merci to Liza Minnelli and Joel Gray and the movie Cabaret for the lyrical title today.

It's hard to imagine a day when I won't have to struggle to make ends meet. There is a cost to dreaming big, being stubborn, and having immeasurable persistence. I chose a field of study I knew I'd love. This made me choose a college I couldn't afford (well, really it was two colleges I couldn't afford). Then I chose a division of that field that is pretty much the lowest paying of any of the areas in my field I could have gone into. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably do it all the same if I had to do it over again, and yet I realize that my choices have led me to an eternal financial struggle. I had scholarships and I worked three jobs during college, but when all is said and done I have a lot more debt than I had hoped I would leave school with. They all have crazy interest rates because they are private loans as well. So my monthly payments are already pretty insane. I keep looking at my statements and thinking how interesting it will be to try and make it all work in a year when the payments all increase.  I've also found myself in a position where I am stuck paying for all things I had expected to be splitting between two people. The whole idea of moving into my apartment was mostly driven by my former roommate who was ready to be on his own, and was financially able to pay rent, utilities, groceries etc. Me, being the, sometimes irresponsibly, trusting person I am when it comes to my friends went along with the idea. He didn't last long before he moved out, and left me holding all the bills. It's a struggle, but I manage... but money makes the world go around.

As a Music Therapist, there are many different avenues you can go down. There are several options for additional training in specialized areas of MT. There's BMGIM - Bonny Method of Guided Imagery in Music- there's some specialized Hospice training, and there's NMT - Neurological Music Therapy, among others. NMT is the more scientific side of music therapy. It's the piece that's most often reimbursed, and that's made the news so much recently in reference to Gabrielle Giffords and her recovery process from her nearly fatal head injury. There are training institutes for NMT twice a year in Colorado. I REALLY want to go to the next one which is coming up in October. It's a 4 day institute starting Thursday and going through Sunday in which you learn the basic theory and practice of NMT techniques, and at the end of the training you are qualified to use the NMT credential. It opens a lot of doors as far as job options goes. Many nursing home or hospital jobs want or require NMT training. I can just see many places where I'd like to implement some NMT techniques in my current position but I'm not comfortable doing so without more extensive knowledge on it. So what's the problem? Money makes the world go around. The four day institute costs $550.00 just to register. That doesn't cover travel, transportation, hotel accommodations, meals, or any extra materials aside from the primary manual. Flying is ridiculous, gas prices are even worse, and I have a car that definitely wouldn't do well on a road trip. I have relatives and friends who live in Colorado, but they are at least an hour and a half away from where the institute takes place. Many facilities will cover the cost of the registration fee and then you're just left with the cost of travel and sleeping accommodations. My supervisor isn't really sure if she will be able to offer me a "scholarship" for continued training/education because of all the budget cuts. This is tragic since that was specifically one of the questions I asked about when I interviewed for the job... whether there were provisions and financial support for continued training and education, and I was given a very solid absolutely yes. But money makes the world go around. Funding for caring for the elderly decreases, that means financial support for nursing homes decreases, which means budget cuts, which means hour reduction, benefit reduction, and no support for things like additional training.

It's great to have goals, it's great to have dreams, but dreams have a cost. Unfortunately the world is largely driven by cost. But, as I said in the beginning... I am stubborn and have immeasurable persistence, and if I have to give up groceries and air conditioning for the summer I am going to find a way to get myself to Colorado for this training institute because in the end I firmly believe it will be worth it. I don't think I'll ever see a day when I won't have to pinch pennies to make my expenditures be lesser than or break even to my income, but that doesn't mean I have to stop setting goals and finding creative ways to achieve them. Money makes the world go around, but so does the persistence to do all things necessary to reach your goals and dreams for yourself. I don't have money, but I do have work ethic, and some way or another I will find ways to accomplish all that I hope for in my life.

♪♫'Cause you're amazing, just the way you are♫♪

I'm not going to say I should try to write more consistently, because I've come to the realization that I'm just not a consistent blogger. I blog when there's something to say, or when I finally scrounge up the time to do so. Thus... it's been two months since my last post. Such is life, I guess.

The title for this post comes from the song Just the Way You Are  recorded by Bruno Mars... however, I am not too proud to admit that I only know it from the Glee version. So, thanks to Bruno Mars by way of the cast of Glee. 
This post is about music, or rather just artistic expression. Anyone who considers themselves to be an artist in any genre can probably relate. Then again, maybe not. I don't know how the rest of the population operates, I just know me. I am a musician, a singer, a dancer. I am fortunate enough to have found a career path that I absolutely LOVE, and I have found a job right out of college doing pretty much exactly what I was hoping to be doing.  But blessings sometimes have their price. My hours are awkward and sometimes inconsistent... I usually work 11:30-8, but with cuts to hours it's now closer to 11:30-7:30, sometimes it becomes 10:30-6:30, other days it's 11:00-7, sometimes even 12-8, and the rare occasions when I have normal day shift of 8:30-4:30.  I've been in dance most of my life, and my job doesn't really allow me to do that anymore as the classes tend to be weeknights before 8pm. The church choir I used to do rehearses Wednesday nights @7. The community chorale I was in for a while rehearses Thursdays @7. Add to that a recent decision I made to take a leave from the Sunday evening service I have been actively engaged in for 7 years, and I don't have a lot going on that is for me anymore.  Like I said earlier, I'm lucky. I'm a musician who gets to do music every single day. I sing every day. I play the guitar and the piano every day. I'm a music therapist, and I use music therapeutically every day. But I use the music I have to use to impact the lives of my patients.

Two weeks ago I went to the concert of the chorale that I desperately wanted to be in this semester. They were doing music by my favorite local composer. The concert was amazing. It was emotional and beautiful. It was a requiem that left me feeling sad and hopeful at the same time. I couldn't help but feel like the requiem was impacting me in the sense of feeling like all avenues of my own artistic expression have been closed off to me; have died. Then this past weekend I attended the senior voice recitals of two cohorts of mine from my first alma mater. They both sang beautifully and I very much enjoyed their performances. But again, I sat through it while experiencing this nagging feeling, that I should really be doing something with my own voice still.  I did not have the best college music experience in the world. I survived my lessons with a teacher that I didn't seem to work very well with at the time. I wanted to and almost did quit a few times. I hadn't done lessons much before, and I didn't really know how to control my voice, and how to work with it. I'd been told by almost all of my HS music teachers that I'd never make it, that I didn't have the ability to do anything in music. By the end of my senior year in college I had also undergone a personal attack from the campus ministry team about my song leading and my seemingly lacking connection to the music. Needless to say, I didn't have a whole lot of confidence in myself or in my abilities as a singer. I couldn't get past all the voices telling me I couldn't do it, and every time I sang I found the negatives, the mistakes, and the parts where I approached something badly, or wasn't supporting properly, or was even the slightest bit off pitch. In the semester of my senior recital I lost my voice for over 4 weeks. My recital hearing had to be postponed until only a week and a half before my recital. The hearing went poorly because I still couldn't vocally get through all of my pieces on my broken and struggling voice. I passed my recital. I made it through all of my songs. I survived, but it wasn't the great experience it should have been. After I graduated I continued taking lessons from my college voice teacher, and we talked out some of our issues with each other and found a really great balance with working together. I started to appreciate and understand more of what she was trying to get me to do, and she stopped telling me I wasn't trying and was obviously didn't care.

Fast forward to the present. It's been 3 years now since that graduation recital. 2 years since I've had any voice lessons. 1 year since I've done any difficult vocal repertoire in a choir. Last week I sat down at my keyboard and pulled out my recital repertoire. I warmed myself up and sang through the whole program. I was surprised at the sound I had after so much time away. It fell into place very easily, I remembered most of the songs. There have been several moments in the past year when I've been singing at church, rehearsing the psalm and I've started to sing and had to pause because, "is that really MY voice?" I don't know if my voice is changing (female voices tend to continue maturing well into their 30s), or if perhaps just my perspective is changing, and I'm finally allowing myself to really HEAR my own sound as opposed to the sound of my inner critics. Maybe it's because those people who told me I couldn't do it, are now and will forever be wrong. I did it. I'm doing it. I made it in spite of all of them and their lack of constructive feedback. Maybe it's because there's no pressure anymore. Whatever the case, I'm learning to like my sound for the first time in a long time. I'm learning that mistakes aren't the end of the world as long as you can recover from them and keep going. I'm growing in my confidence musically and just in general personally. But these last few weeks have really made me yearn for that artistic piece. I do music every day. There is a difference though in really working and exploring your voice, and in impersonating Elvis, Doris Day, and Johnny Cash. I get to sing every day, but my vocal range when I sing every day barely spans an octave and it's in the lowest register of my voice because that's where my patients need it to be to participate. I am really longing to explore this sound I have now, and see what I can do with it, and really just lose myself in some beautifully difficult repertoire again.

So I started thinking... I need to get back into lessons. I thought about finding a teacher in town here, and realized that the place I'd have to start were those HS teachers who told me I sucked 8 years ago when I was impressionable and needed support. Not an ideal. I've fallen out of touch with the teacher I worked with on audition materials for college and she lives a distance away now anyway. Then I decided I really wanted to be doing the caliber of music I should have been able to do my senior year if my voice would have allowed me to do it and I emailed my college voice professor. She agreed to work with me to find a lesson time that will fit into my awkward schedule, if I'm willing to be flexible. I'm hoping that this will prove to be a good experience. I'm going into it with a maturity and an understanding that I didn't have when I was an undergrad. I'm going into it with a new found confidence in myself and in my musical abilities. I'm going into it with the sole purpose of artistic expression and growth and no outside pressures. I jumping in realizing that there will be imperfections and mistakes and that's okay because I don't need to be perfect, I just need to be IN it. I'm ready to open myself up and just allow myself to be a part of the music, leaving behind the inner critic and just embracing the art of music. I'm really looking forward to doing lessons this summer. I am hopeful that it will be a wonderful experience for me, and one that may just allow me to keep my sanity by providing a much needed artistic outlet.

So the title. This song came up when I was shuffling songs on my iPod on my way home tonight. I stopped and thought to myself, you know what, I am amazing, just the way I am. I am at peace with myself and my abilities in the context of music really for the first time. I know I'm taking the title line somewhat out of context, but, it's just a really great feeling to be able to say that: I am amazing just the way I am.